10
Apr
15

White Crockery

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White Crockery 11" x 14" oil on linen

White Crockery
11″ x 14″ oil on linen

I haven’t been posting much lately for various reasons, one of which is that I was hoping to move my blog to a new website I’ve been trying to get going but I’ve had a difficult time finding someone to help me with it. I’m not familiar with web development. It doesn’t seem like it should be this hard to get a web site up.

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21
Mar
15

Two cups

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Work in progress …

17" x 23" oil on linen panel

17″ x 23″ oil on linen panel

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16
Jan
15

Updated image

I really didn’t like that last image I posted. I’ve worked a bit more on the painting and this is what it looks like now. It’s still on the easel but I didn’t want to leave the old image here.

12" x 12" oil on archival paper

12″ x 12″ oil on archival paper

19
Dec
14

Christmas Angel

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Christmas Angel 12" x 16" oil on Arches Paper

Christmas Angel
12″ x 16″ oil on Arches Paper

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This painting was inspired by one of the people I leaned on most heavily over the last year and a half. I didn’t start out to make a painting of an angel but it just looks like that to me.

29
Nov
14

Figure study

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I’m playing with the idea of painting some figures in interiors

KD In The Kitchen  12" x 12" oil on archival paper

KD In The Kitchen
12″ x 12″ oil on archival paper

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28
Oct
14

For Greg

My friend Greg is accusing me of slacking on the blog so here are a few more paintings I did in or of Italy.

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Fort at Civita Castellana 11" x 14" oil on linen panel

Fort at Civita Castellana
11″ x 14″ oil on linen panel

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Foot of Mt Soratte 8" x 10" oil on linen panel

Foot of Mt Soratte
8″ x 10″ oil on linen panel

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Pitcher and Bottle 14" x 11" oil on linen panel

Pitcher and Bottle
14″ x 11″ oil on linen panel

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17
Sep
14

Life goes on?

Faliscan Pitcher and Deer Skull 11" x 14" oil on linen panel

Faliscan Pitcher and Deer Skull
11″ x 14″ oil on linen panel

I’ve written a series of posts here about my wife, Leslie’s, death and how I’ve coped with her loss. I feel like I should conclude this somehow but am not sure how. July 3 marked the one year anniversary of her death. I marked it with family and friends over a few days then went off to Italy for a month. As I look back, it appears that I made a kind of project out of it in that, for the year following Les’ death, I did my best to experience that loss and everything that came along with it as deeply and in as many ways as I could. I did several types of therapy, personal growth seminars, healing ceremonies … whatever I could think of. I said yes to most things that came my way and tried to stay open to whatever came at me. I fell in and out of love and learned that relationships don’t have to have the boundaries I usually contain them with.

The second part of the project was to start having new experiences as a person who is in the world alone. Alone in that, although I have friends and family, my life is no longer shared. The month in Italy was the first step in that.

The year of grieving, as I wrote in earlier posts, was tumultuous and both painful and expansive. I grew and unconcealed parts of me that were buried inside for a long time. I think, in many ways, I realized that I’m the person Les always saw in me and have become better able to see that in myself.

Learning to be myself for myself is something I still grapple with and have been keeping in mind the question, can I be enough for myself? Can I find everything I need to be happy inside me? I get disappointed in my self when I feel a longing for something outside. I can usually let go of it and return to the present but longing for something, something I can’t quite describe, revisits me often. The solitude I hated earlier, I’ve learned to love at the same time that I crave connection with others.

I didn’t used to think I was much of a people person but I know that’s not true now. The reason I’m still alive is the people I love. My fondest memories of this past year and my time in Italy are of the beautiful and interesting people who’ve entered or passed through my life.




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